Hwee En (32) & Her Becoming
This article is part of Don’t Mind if’s collaboration with Stella from Our Tender Deeds to document and archive creative journeys of those who labour within Singapore’s Communication Design industry and community. Each interviewee answers 10 questions and documents part of their lives with a film camera.
Words From Stella
As someone who has always undertaken more of a non-creative role in creative environments and now more a marketer of sorts, it deeply resonated with me when Hwee expressed her struggle with the “creative” label - having been what we traditionally call a “suit” in the ad world.
This article was difficult for me to summarise because I could feel her ardour and life in every line I couldn’t let myself omit. During our chat, we talked about the elusive “ease” that others relate to their thirties and that I’ve always coveted. What she had to say was, “as much as it seems like something that naturally happens, I think it takes hard work… it takes all these trials, detours and getting to know ourselves to almost earn.”
Things take time.
“I am currently freelancing in account servicing and project managing in a social impact communications agency. On the side, I’m a serial hobbyist dabbling in film photography and garment making / pottery at Fingerramblings. I’ve always been an itchy finger kind of person and these allow me to be tactile and offline; a great respite from work.”
Recent attempts in learning Sashiko
“I studied Business Management (Marketing & Comms) in school, which is closely linked to my current profession. I’ve always felt that being in a “non-creative” role within the creative industry has given me the space to want to make things and work on creative projects on the side.”
“My biggest passion project would be co-directing and producing Class Acts with Deon (from Tell Your Children), a documentary film that took three years to complete, and that recently premiered at Singapore Art Week. The feature-length documentary traces the genesis of Singapore’s creative scene in the ‘90s through intimate conversations with its pioneering personalities.”
“(On how the project came about) In 2019, I was working on a cultural research project on the local creative outlook with the ad agency I was at then. One of the questions we asked the 70+ artists we interviewed was, “who is your creative inspiration”, and we were consistently given names of folks in the US, Europe, Japan, everywhere else but Singapore. This got me questioning our creative heritage and seeking stories from the time before us. Speaking to Deon one night while chilling at Hong Lim Park (apt location haha), we realised that it wasn’t that these stories didn’t exist, they just weren’t documented anywhere.”
“We then went down a rabbit hole speaking to people who were active in the 90s, sinking our heads into the library archive of old newspapers and the farthest corners of Youtube in search of forgotten footages.
“The process was really humbling as neither of us come from a filmmaking background. Producing a documentary and exhibition was terrifying but we were met with so much kindness, generosity and patience from our talented production partners, AMOK and No Average Joe. The whole project was completely unfunded and was only possible because of the many who so kindly agreed to lend us their time and skills.”
“There were many moments where I questioned myself because it was so time consuming (especially those long hours of transcribing!!) and difficult. But every time I read the interview responses, I knew the stories couldn’t (and shouldn’t) end with us, so we pressed on and three years later it finally saw the light.”
“The response has been so fulfilling and grounding — hearing how people feel inspired to go out and make things not worrying about what others say (channeling the same spirit of the ‘90s); how they never knew about this side of Singapore and our creative culture; to even just creatives from the ‘90s thanking us for documenting their time and stories.”
“When we started the project, we weren’t gunning for recognition, awards, festival laurels or even financial returns. To hear all this positive feedback has been such a bonus that I am very grateful for, knowing that people who watched it were as inspired by the OGs’ stories as we were when we first heard them.”
Setting up for the Class Acts Exhibition at National Design Centre
“(On her journey) I vividly remember choosing Business Management in school because I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do. It was through a whole lot of trial and error that I’ve come to understand what I want - and don’t want - to do with my time and energy. I fumbled into advertising after graduation which, besides allowing me to make some of my closest friends, gave me the chance to sit at the cross-fire of ideation and watching exciting ideas come to life - which I thoroughly enjoyed. A couple of years in, however, I was reevaluating what I was fulfilled by and how I wanted to spend my time more purposefully. I was increasingly frustrated by long drawn brainstorms that didn’t amount to much at the end of the day and I didn’t want to make another ad that people were going to watch and forget. This led me to resign without another job, which sounded liberating on paper but I was low-key freaking out! Serendipitously I got a text from a friend that same day, who needed help at his bar, and so began my short-lived experience as a bartender and my freelance career till date.”
“(On freelancing) The first three years, I said yes to everything that sounded interesting to me - from managing art and exhibition projects to rebooting Singapore Community Radio (where I got to work and host a podcast with many local independent creatives), to festival social content, to working at a streetwear distribution company. And in between all these, venture into documentary filmmaking for Class Acts.”
“While the whole process was really eye-opening for me - being able to work with such diverse creatives and getting to satiate my curiosity in many ways - it was also hugely unsettling not knowing how or when all these seemingly random experiences will one day make sense.”
“As cliche as it sounds, it was only when I was about to hit my 30th birthday that it dawned on me that clarity didn’t just mean tangible results but rather an accumulation of self-understanding in some sense. Because in many ways, these experiences showed me the various things I liked and dislike, what I am energised by, my relationships with work and people, fulfilment and balance. I got to a space where I didn’t want work to be the only thing that dictates how fulfilled I feel, but for it to enable me in other areas of life (whether it be meeting more people, financial stability, creative needs or social purpose, etc) and being more conscious with what I do with my time outside of it. To be fair, I think this will be an evolving relationship throughout various stages of our lives but for now, I’m making time to explore my interests even if they don’t make me money haha.”
Pottery Studio
“Whether you are earning big bucks at a corporate job and satisfying your creative itches outside of working hours, or having a lower paid job that satisfies you creatively and having to do side hustles to make up the dough, I don’t think there’s one right or wrong way to do it as long as you are satisfied and get rest time.”
Blockprinting Workshop
“(On getting inspired) Curiosity is very important to me. I’m an introvert so I’m not good with being in too many social settings or parties, but I do enjoy finding things to do around our little island — films, gallery shows, performances, plays, gigs, festivals, craft workshops, etc. I love reading about artists and their intents, watching process videos, learning less-known facts about objects and occurrences; especially if it’s a medium/discipline I’m unfamiliar with or something completely obscure! I can spend hours watching potters throw or sculpt, sewers construct a garment or patchwork (LOVE patchwork) or even random things like art/furniture restoration processes. I find so much intrigue in how much care people put into every step of their work.”
Nafa Grad Show
“I’ve found myself down the rabbit holes of how our memories and senses work, sound and history, all sorts really, and it’s all very fun when you discover something new and just want to tell all your friends about it. And nature(!) I’ll always have a soft spot for nature whenever I get reminded of its beauty, vastness and pace (compared to our crazy fast-paced lives). Trees especially have a grounding effect on me.”
“These lines from a podcast called On Being with Krista Tippet are my favourite because they are such kind reminders to ground ourselves to what really matters to us, rather than what we think is expected of us. It takes the pressure off ourselves.”
“What we pay attention to defines us, defines our approach to life… …No wonder it comes as a relief to be reminded of your own insignificance. It’s the feeling of realising that you’ve been holding yourself all this time to standards you can’t reasonably be expected to meet. And this realisation isn’t really calming but liberating, because once you’re no longer burdened by such an unrealistic definition of a “life well spent”, you’re free to consider that many more things than you previously imagined might qualify as meaningful ways to use your finite time… …You’re free too to consider the possibility that many of the things that you’re already doing are more meaningful than you’d suppose. And until now you’ve subconsciously been devaluing them on the grounds that they weren’t significant enough… …From this new perspective, it becomes possible to see that preparing nutritional meals for your children might matter as much as anything could matter, even if you wouldn’t win any cooking awards. Or that your novel’s worth writing if it moves or entertains a handful of your contemporaries. Even though you know you’re no Tolstoy… …Or that virtually any career might be a worthwhile way to spend a working life if it makes things slightly better for those it serves.”
Hwee recommends:
Susan Sontag’s Regarding the Pain of Others
”Essay critiquing the uses and means of photography and images and its effect on the visual representation of violence in our culture. A lot of questions around empathy, media, action/reaction, and a reminder that there could be many gaps to our understanding of things around us that seem “normal” and our individual role within that.”Olivia Laing’s The Lonely City
”Unpacks what loneliness means in life, tech and within art.”Masanobu Fukuoka’s One Straw Revolution
”Mostly about natural farming (i.e., no chemicals or unnecessary human interventions) but I found it a refreshing perspective too in understanding nature’s pace and just not meddling too much”Hirokazu Kore-eda’s After Life
”Where dead people have to decide on one memory to relive before their reincarnation. Sounds intense but serves as material for introspection - how do you want to live life and what matters at the end of it all.”
“Creativity to me is — as much a lifestyle as it is a skill or output.
I believe creativity is an attribute inherent in everyone, though the extent and method in which we tap into it can vary largely. It could be simply in finding new ways to interact with others, developing small life hacks or even just seeing beauty in one’s everyday; I think it’s such a boundless attribute and muscle that cannot be singularly defined.”
“I’m looking forward to Fuji Rock Festival in Japan in July! And getting back to film photography, sneaking street shots of people (especially old people) and just finding little moments in our everyday surroundings.”